To All Parents on the Soccer/Basketball/Lacrosse/Football Field...

Things to think about for "Socce", Parents

· Be your child's best fan and support him unconditionally. He really does want/need your support.

· When you take your child home after a match or training session, please try to be supportive and always focus on the positive aspects of his game, don’t criticize him our his teammates.

·Develop a responsibility in your child to pack his own bag, clean his cleats and take a drink bottle to practice and games.

· Do not criticize the coach to your child or other parents. If you are not happy with the coaches you should raise the issue directly with them away from the field.

· Encourage your son to speak with the coaches. If your child is having difficulties in training or games, or can’t attend training etc. encourage him to speak directly to the coaches. This “responsibility taking” is a big part of becoming a mature person. By handling off the field tasks, your child is claiming ownership of all aspects of the game.

· Help your child to focus on the performance and not the result.

Remember - winning is not as important as the performance.

· Support all the players on our squad. Please do not criticize anyone.

Remember – children don’t mean to make mistakes. They want to succeed.

· Do not criticize our opponents, their parents or the officials.

· Never audibly dispute a referee’s decision. Referees make mistakes, some more than others. We all do. If you abuse or shout at the referee you are breaking the conduct code of the POB Soccer Club and risk generating a LIJSL fine for our team. In extreme circumstances, you could even be asked to leave the sidelines or our team will forfeit the match. You don’t want to escalate anything to that level.

· Parents should not coach from the sideline during our matches. Leave this to the coaches or you may cause confusion and erode your son’s confidence. Don’t make your son choose between listening to his coach’s instructions or disappointing you. Encourage them to play hard but don’t offer specific soccer instructions.

· Please remember – the game is for the children. It is not for the glory of the coaches or parents.



From the US Youth Soccer Website: TRUTHS about children and sports

· Fun is pivotal - if it's not fun, young people won't play a sport

· Skill development is a crucial aspect of fun - it is more important than winning even among the best athletes

· The most rewarding challenges of sports are those that lead to self-knowledge

· Intrinsic rewards (self-knowledge that grows out of self-competition) are more important in creating lifetime athletes than extrinsic rewards are (victory or attention from others)



SOME INTERESTING SOCCER QUOTES:

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''Worrying too much about winning and losing gets in the way of development,'' says Manfred Schellscheidt, head of US Soccer's U14 program. ''There are always shortcuts that you can find to win the next game. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll be winning five, six seasons from now... We should be concerned about the players' performance, not the final score.''



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Tony Carr, Head Coach -West Ham United

Up to the age of 13, is another crucial period. Throughout this time the emphasis should

be placed on having fun and enjoy playing. Too much emphasis is placed on winning at

all costs. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of practice. Improvement in skill does not

just happen overnight, and is unlikely to emerge just by playing in actual games.



*****************************************************************Fabio Capello who was in charge of Milan’s youth set-up for six years says the following:
“You should be focusing on two things: having fun and improving your technique. The other aspects can come later. What’s the point of cluttering his mind with tactical notions and formations? All you’re doing is stifling his ability to express himself.”

“Winning” too often is given top priority in our systems. Players are not seen as a “final product” traveling down a path of development, but instead what they can contribute now, to my team. A sad statement when you are talking about 9 – 13 year olds.

What should be our focus:
We must help players grow and provide a path that leads to improvement, creativity and learning.

The tool bag is portable…
Make sure you don’t focus on the “here and now”. Don’t worry about results but rather the strengths and weaknesses. The “tool bag” of raw technical skills can be taken anywhere the child goes. Keep filling the bag, enjoy the game and let time take its natural course.

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Too often in America, a professional sport model is used in measuring youth sports success. Youth soccer is not immune to this misapplied standard. For soccer the situation is made worse by a desire of many adults to use measuring tools from other sports. In fact, it is maddening to many adults that soccer is not as black and white as with some sports in judging successful play. Many team sports played in our nation are statistically driven and coach centered.

Soccer is neither of those!


Truths & Motives for Participation

1. Have fun and to enjoy participating in sport.

2. Learn new skills and to improve on existing sports skills.

3. Become physically fit and to enjoy good health

4. Enjoy the challenge and excitement of sports participation and competition.

5. Enjoy a team atmosphere and to be with friends.


Suggestions for Parents
· Remember the truths and talk to your children with them in mind. After a game, ask questions about fun, skill improvement, learning experiences and having a good time with friends.

· See yourself as part of the team and supportive of the coach; avoid setting up a conflict in your child's mind between his or her parents and coaches. If you want to affect the coaching, volunteer to help.

· Develop perspective: remember what you could do at your children's ages; don't judge them by what you can do now. Kids will not become great players overnight.

· Develop an understanding of what your children want from sports—not all children want the same things. Determine if they want to be involved at all. ************************************************************

"The parents are the ones clamoring the loudest for wins, because they associate development with wins. If I teach kids new ball skills, and tell them to experiment with new ball skills during games, they’re going to make a mistake, lose the ball, and give up a goal,” says Sam Snow, the coaching director for US Youth Soccer. Many volunteer coaches have familiarity with football, baseball, and basketball, where coaches engineer team plays and manage discrete situations with the aid of timeouts and regular stoppages in play. In soccer, they are drawn to risk-averse, team-minded tactics that deliver a shortcut to wins, keeping parents happy without necessarily helping players’ long-term growth.

This is from a Sasha Issenberg former director of USA Youth Soccer, in an article for the Boston Globe.
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Sportsmanship is the ability to:
win without gloating
lose without complaining
treat your opponent with respect.
Treat everyone with RESPECT
Sportsmanship Tips
If you make a mistake, don't pout or make excuses. Learn from it, and be ready to continue to play.
If a teammate makes a mistake, offer encouragement, not criticism.
If you win, don't rub it in.
If you lose, don't make excuses.- it's okay
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